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| One of my stories for you guys.
My name is Logan. I’m eighteen years old, and if things go the way I
know they will, a lot of people are going to die tonight. I’m getting
ahead of myself though. Let me start at the beginning.
Ever since I was about eleven, I was different from other kids. I don’t
mean I was antisocial, or had some kind of mental problems. I could do
things that nobody else could do… I could control fire. Pyrokinesis is
the technical term for it. At first I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t
understand why I could command fire, or why nothing ever burned me. I
was just a confused kid.
My parents didn’t know a damn thing either. They just told me not to
tell anybody. I think they were more afraid of me than anything. I
can’t say I blame them. If I had a kid who was prone to bursting into
flames, I’d be a little freaked out, too. At first, I thought I was the
only one like this. You know, who was “special”. That was, until I
started seeing the news reports when I was around fourteen. I was just
starting high school, and the news kept talking about people whose
genetic code had evolved, giving them special powers. Everybody’s
abilities were different. Some even called them super powers. I know,
super powers, right? It sounds so crazy to think about.
There were no radioactive spiders here, though. Nobody donning tights
and masks and fighting evil. That’s just some romantic fantasy. We were
all too scared to even leave our homes. You know how people are. The
whole world is so xenophobic. All across the planet, us “freaks” were
being persecuted. It was a worldwide witch hunt. I finally understood
why my parents didn’t want anybody knowing about me.
They called us Genes. Like we were something less than human. The worst
part was that once our kind was revealed to the public, Gene violence
became a constant in the streets. We were kicked out of schools if they
found out about us. They considered us too dangerous to be allowed on
any campus. With so many kids being tossed out of school, and thrown
out of their homes, it was only natural they would hold a grudge. Genes
were constantly attacking people. Sometimes just robberies, sometimes
murders. The worst was when two Genes fought. Depending on their
powers, entire building would be destroyed, sometimes even
neighborhoods. A lot of innocent people died like this. Just bystanders
at the wrong place at the wrong time.
I managed to keep my power a secret. I never told anybody about what I
could do, never used it when anybody was around, and I was always
careful. I did my best to shy away from others. Being a loner isn’t so
bad once you get used to it, really. I knew there were others at my
school like me. I could tell by the way they acted, the way they were
always looking over their shoulders, waiting for somebody to point and
yell “He’s one of them! He’s a freak!” Somebody always found out
eventually. Nobody ever saw the guy again, and people just went about
their days like nothing was wrong.
High School went pretty well for me. I got good enough grades, I kept a
low profile, and nobody ever really noticed me. And then I met Evelyn.
It was my sophomore year, about sixteen years old. I was walking home
from school, and I stopped in a park to have a cigarette. As I sat
there, I saw her walking. She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever
seen. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I would never have talked to
her, though. Not in a million years. Too shy, I guess. No, we met
because she wanted us to meet. She saw me looking at her, and walked
right up to me. Her parents owned a cafe nearby, and she helped out
there after school. She invited me to the shop for a cup of coffee. I
hate coffee. I think I had six cups that day. I was in love with her by
the first.
That was about two years ago.After that day, Evelyn and I were
inseparable. We were always together. The very best of friends. I
always wished we could have been something more, but I knew I couldn’t
let that happen. If anybody found out about me, there’s no telling what
could go wrong.
One day, we were walking home from a movie. It was late, it was dark,
and this side of town wasn’t the best. I never thought too much about
the dangers, I had never run into trouble before. Tonight was different
though, as we walked, we heard something down the alleyway.
“No! Let go! Somebody help!”
It was a woman’s voice.
“Hey, I think someone’s in trouble down there.” Evelyn said.
I grabbed her arm, “Come on, let’s get going.”
“Are you crazy? We have to help her!” She shouted as she shook her arm free, and ran towards the screams.
I ran after her.
As I dashed into the alley, I saw the woman that was being attacked,
and I saw what was attacking her. It was a Gene. A big one. It didn’t
stop Evelyn though. She kept right on running, determined to help the
poor woman.
“Hey! Let her go!” She yelled.
I yelled to her, “Evelyn, NO!”
It was too late, though. The Gene turned and faced her. It was made of
stone, like some kind of rock golem. It held the woman in it’s right
hand like she was nothing more than a rag doll. She looked like a
prostitute. She was struggling to escape it’s grip, so she was still
alive. I was relieved to see that, but the relief didn’t last long.
With it’s free hand, the Gene hit Evelyn, and she was hurled into the
alley wall. As soon as she hit, she fell limp.
“EVELYN!!!” I screamed.
I lost control, and I was on him. I mean it, I really bolted toward the
bastard. I must have ignited, because the Gene dropped the hooker. She
stood there in shock, and watched as I fought the giant on my own. He
swung his massive hand out and grabbed me, but I was ready. A fireball
to the face, and he dropped me again.
I turned to the hooker, “Run! Call an ambulance!” She didn’t need to be told twice.
The fire must have hurt him, because he was distracted by the
pain. I took the opportunity, and rushed in. I placed both hands on his
ribs, and created an explosion powerful enough to blow him apart. It
worked, but I wasn’t counting on something; the rocks were only a
shell. The smoke cleared, and standing before me was a boy no older
than myself. I recognized this guy though. He went to my school. I
stood, speechless. The sirens could be heard in the distance, and they
were getting closer. That was his cue. He ran off down the other end of
the alley.
As soon as he was gone, I ran to Evelyn.
“Evelyn! Evelyn, say something!”
I crouched down and held her in my arms. She was barely breathing, and
she could hardly move. She looked up at me with weak eyes.
“Logan… why didn’t you ever…. Tell me?”
“I was afraid it would drive you away. I didn’t want to lose you.”
“I could… never leave you… Logan…”
“I’m so sorry…”
Boiling tears streamed down my face and fell, burning holes in the concrete.
“You did good…. You saved her…”
She coughed, and blood began pouring from her mouth.
“Logan… I just…. Want you to know…. That I…. I love you….. I always….. have….”
Those were the last words she would ever speak. I stayed with her until
the ambulance arrived. I did my best to explain what happened. But
there were certain gaps in my story that were tough to fill. Like how I
managed to drive off a two ton Gene. They weren’t that interested
though. They wouldn’t do anything about it anyway. When they finished
talking to me, they took her body and left.
I sat there for a long time, not knowing what to do. After a little while, I heard foot steps coming toward me.
“Hey there, kid.” She said.
It was the prostitute.
“I wanted to say thanks. Not many woulda helped a gal like me, so I
really do appreciate it. I didn’t tell ‘em, by the way. Y’know,
about what ya are.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
Part of me wanted to blame her for what happened to Evelyn, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t her fault, and I knew that.
“Well, look here, hon. My apartment ain’t too far from here. Why don’t
you come back with me, and we’ll get ya fixed up? A good night’s rest
won’t hurt either. Besides, I make a mean cup of coffee. Whaddya say?”
I hate coffee.
“That… sounds nice.”
“I’m Jen, by the way.”
“Logan.”
“Well, it’s nice to meet ya, Logan.”
She lived only a few blocks away. Her apartment wasn’t too big, but it
was well kept. There was something homey about it. She put the coffee
on, and the smell wafted through the air. I couldn’t help but think of
Evelyn. When the coffee was done, she brought the mugs over, and sat
down next to me.
“So, how old are ya?”
“Eighteen.” I replied.
“You in school?”
“Yeah. Due to graduate pretty soon here.”
“Well, that ain’t too bad. I never made it through school, y’know. I never had the head for it.”
“At least you were allowed to be yourself.”
With that, a silence came over the room. It didn’t last long though.
“You two were close, huh?”
“Yeah, we were.”
“What was she like?”
“She was… she was something special. She was the kind of girl that made you want to be a better person, just for her.”
“Looks like it worked, then.”
“What?”
“If it weren’t for her, would you have helped me at all?”
I was ashamed to admit the truth.
“No. No, I wouldn’t have.”
“But you did. And because ya did, I’m still alive. For that, I’ll always be grateful to ya.”
I didn’t know what to say. So I did what I always did:
“It’s late. I really need to be heading home. Thanks for the coffee.”
And I made for the door. Before I was out, she stopped me.
“If ya ever need anything, you know where I live. You’re welcome here any time. Take care, darlin’.”
With that, I was out the door.
I was passing by the school on the way home, when I noticed a light on.
It was one o’clock in the morning. I should’ve kept walking, but
instead I went with my instincts. I went to check it out. It was the
administration’s office. As I walked in, I saw a computer monitor on,
and I heard something on the other side of the building. I disregarded
the noise, because the image on the monitor was far more interesting.
It was me. My school picture… my file… my home address! That’s when I
heard the car peel out of the school and speed off. It was headed
toward my house.
I ran. I ran as fast as I could, until my muscles could no longer carry
me, and then I kept running. I arrived at my house just in time to see
that it had been reduced to gravel. Nothing was left but ruin, and
somewhere in it were my parents. I dug through wood, concrete and brick
until my hands bled. I found them, though. I found what was left of
them, anyway.
Suddenly, there came a voice from behind me.
“Hello, Logan.”
I turned around, ready to fight. But when I turned, I saw nothing. Not
at first, anyway. Soon, a pale figure emerged from the shadows, right
before my eyes.
Another Gene? I thought. I recognized this boy from my school as well.
“Who are you?!” I demanded.
“Who I am is not as important as why I am here. The master has sent me with a message.”
The Master? What the hell is going on?
“This,” he motions to what used to be my home, “is merely a warning. Do
not interfere again, or the consequences shall be far worse.”
“You son of a bitch!” I screamed, and charged at him. I ran right through him. He could phase!
He chuckled. “My my, so hot-headed. No need to be so hasty, Logan. We’ll see you again at graduation. Until then, farewell.”
With that, the shadows once more enveloped him, and he was gone.
Graduation? That’s only a week away.
I didn’t know what was going on, but I had to get out of there. I went to the only place I could think to go.
Jen was surprised to see me when she opened the door.
“You sure weren’t gone too long.”
“Can I come in?”
“Of course you can, hon.”
She opened the door the rest of the way, and let me in. I took a seat on the couch, and she sat next to me.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “You look terrible.”
So I told her everything. I told her about the school, my house, my
parents, the Gene, everything. She didn’t know what to say, so she just
put her arms around me.
I woke up the next morning in her bed. I don’t remember even coming
into her room, but I let the thought slide. The house was empty. She
had left a note for me on the fridge.
“Out working right now. Girl’s gotta make a living. Help yourself to
the food. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you like. I’ll be back
later.
- Jen”
I didn’t feel like staying in an empty house. I had too much on my mind
that needed sorting. There was a bar on this side of town I knew about.
They never carded, so I went there from time to time. This was one of
those times.
It was a about a ten minute walk to the bar. The streets were soulless,
and barren. I hated places like this. They always made me feel like I
was being watched, and in light of recent events, the paranoia wasn’t
so far fetched.
I arrived at the bar, and took a seat on a stool. I ordered a pint and
lit a cigarette. My mind was racing. So much had happened in such a
short period of time, I didn’t know where to begin.
I was half done with my pint when the lights dimmed, and a man took the
stage. He was dressed in a black suit, and wore a fedora. He was a
middle-aged man, in his late 40s, but his face seemed to express a
content sadness, but there was something else that I couldn’t quite put
my finger on… something like purpose. He sat on the stool in front of
the microphone, and held his guitar like it was an old friend.
“My name is Johnny Flag, and it’s been one o’ them days.” He spoke in a
deep, raspy voice that only made you wonder how the man could possibly
sing.
But then, he sang. He played his guitar, and he sang, and the notes
drifted through the air as his low voice told of a man who lost
everything he held dear, and yet he persevered. The song was called
“Hold On”.
He finished his song, and walked off the stage. I clapped with the rest
of the bar, and went back to my drink. I didn’t even notice him sit
next to me.
“You’re a little young for a place like this, aint’cha?” His rough voice took me by surprise, but I didn’t show it.
“Yeah, but you don’t meet nice girls in coffee shops.” I replied.
He let out a little laugh, and introduced himself.
“Name’s Johnny Flag.”
“Logan. Nice to meet you.”
We shook hands, and then I lit another cigarette. As I smoked, he seemed to stare at me. I looked back at him, confused.
“Is something wrong?” I asked him
“I smell power on you, kid. You’re one of us, aren’t ya?” He spoke in a very grim tone.
Suddenly, every muscle in my body stopped.
“How did you know? You mean, you’re…”
“Not here, kid. It ain’t safe. Follow me.”
He got up, and carried his guitar out the back door, into the alley. I
followed him eagerly. I’d never met another Gene before. At least, not
one that wasn’t trying to kill me.
As I walked out the door, I was taken by the throat and slammed against
the wall. Instinctively, I ignited. The attacker jumped back to escape
the burst. He looked like any kid you’d see on the street, but he wore
goggles and large headphones. A raver…
That’s when I heard the clapping. I looked over to see Johnny standing by a dumpster.
“Fire, huh? Well, you really are somethin’ special. How ‘bout that.” He said.
My throat was sore from that damn raver’s grip.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked
“Well, there ain’t no simple way of sayin’ this. You control fire. To
start with, that makes you one of a kind. Nobody else in the world can
do what you do. You’re what we call an Elemental. There’s only five
like you in the world, each commanding a different element. It also
means that you’re a well of unlimited power.”
I was finally coming to grasp what my ability truly meant.
“But it comes at a cost. A hell of a doozy, too. I don’t know how to tell ya this, kid. Y’see… you can never die.”
Had I not just been told that it couldn’t, I would have sworn that my heart stopped.
“I’m not sure I follow…”
“Yes you do. See, when you inherited your power over fire, you were
directly tied to nature. You’re connected to the very fabric of our
world. You don’t just control fire, kid. You are fire.”
Suddenly, the world seemed a lot smaller.
“Okay, so I’m immortal. What’s your trick?”
He smiled, and raised his arm. Electric currents jumped between his
fingers, and suddenly, he sent a bolt at the nearby dumpster. The
dumpster lost the fight.
“You’re an Elemental, too?” I asked.
“That’s right, kid.”
A lot smaller.
My eyes turned to the raver, who didn’t even seem to be paying attention.
“So, what’s he, then? Earth, wind, water, or heart?”
I couldn’t help the sarcasm. I had to break the tension.
“Oh no, he’s not an Elemental. However, his gift, while not quite as… omnipotent as ours, is still rather impressive.”
Johnny gave a quick nod, and the raver smirked. He held out his hands,
and I began to feel a small vibration from the ground. The vibration
became more and more violent and… rhythmic? Just as I could no longer
hold my balance without the help of a wall, the quakes stopped.
“What the hell was that?!” I asked
“Hahaha… The Raver here has the ability to control sound vibrations. With enough sonic build-up, he could liquefy steel.”
“The Raver? Doesn’t he have a name?”
“Not a clue. That’s the best part. He’s a mute! Hehe… irony’s a bitch, ain’t it?”
I wasn’t laughing at the time, but you’ve gotta admit, it’s pretty funny.
“So, are you two from around here?”
“Nope. We’re from… well, very far away.”
“Then why come all the way here?”
Johnny’s face suddenly became very grim.
“A war is brewin’, kid. And at the moment, this town is a battleground.
For now, though, Rave and I’ve got some business that needs takin’ care
of. I’ve got a feelin’ we’ll meet again real soon, kid.”
With that, the two of them left.
I went back inside for another drink. I think I deserved this one.
The walk back to the apartment was just like the walk to the bar. The
roads were empty, and I still had that feeling that gave me chills down
my spine. When I walked through the door, the apartment was still
empty, so I made myself comfortable. A few blues records, and a frozen
dinner later, I decided to get some sleep. The day had been too short
for it to feel this long. I needed to rest.
I woke up the next morning, and the apartment was still empty. No sign
Jen had been there at all. I took a shower, and decided to go out.
Maybe I’d run into her. I don’t know why I was so worried. I’d only
known her a day or two. Either way, I needed to get out.
As I walked, the streets were still empty. I came to wonder if anybody
even lived in this part of town. Other than the bar, I hadn’t seen
another soul since I got there, not even a car. I was passing by an
alley when something caught my eye. I wasn’t sure what it was, or why I
wanted a closer look, but I decided to check it out. As alleyways
hadn’t been very good to me so far, I was cautious. Nothing could have
readied me for what was behind that dumpster, though. It was Jen,
laying limp against the wall. The needle was still in her arm.
I dropped to my knees, and checked her pulse. Nothing. There I sat, her
body in my arms, helpless. Then I heard the footsteps behind me. I
turned around to greet whatever demons I’d have to face now. It was
Johnny and Rave.
“What the hell do you want?” I asked, tears choking my speech.
Johnny walked up beside me and crouched. He picked up the needle, and looked at it.
“She didn’t do this.” He said
“What?”
“Jen and I are old friends. We go way back. She’s been clean for over a year. She didn’t do this to herself.”
“The who would…”
I stopped. Suddenly, I thought back to the empty streets. How nobody ever came to this neighborhood.
She wasn’t a hooker.
“She was one of us, wasn’t she?”
“That’s right kid. Not only one of us, but she was part of the group
that we’re here to stop. She was gonna leave ‘em. They must have found
out. It’s a loss for all of us, kid. She was a good woman… and a good
friend.”
He stood up, and started to walk away.
“C’mon, Rave.” He said.
“Graduation.” I shouted after them.
He stopped and turned around.
“What did you say?”
“Graduation is in three days. I think they’re going to try something there. Be at the high school, and be ready.”
This time, I was the one to leave. I took one last look at Jen, and I was gone.
Those next three days were mere blurs. And now it’s Graduation night, and here I am.
My name is Logan. I’m eighteen years old, and if things go the way I
know they will, a lot of people are going to die tonight. But none of
that matters now. Whoever these people are, they’ve taken everything
from me. And now, I intend to stop them, or at least put a real dent in
their plans.
I’m on top of the hill, overlooking the campus stadium. I see the
people in the stands, and the graduating class. They’ve all been pushed
to the back of the field, trying to escape. The exits were all blocked
by Genes, so the students gave up, and were now looking across the
stretch of grass, at the army of Genes boxing them in.
I got to the back gate as somebody across the field was making a
speech. The Gene blocking the entrance wasn’t paying attention behind
him. A quick sucker-punch took care of him, but most of the crowd was
too fixated on what they saw across the field to notice the open exit.
I made my way through the students huddled together in fear, and broke
through to the other side. When I saw what the others had been staring
at, I was in shock. It was the leader of the Gene army…..
“Johnny…?”
The same black suit and fedora, standing on the stage alone, surrounded by his minions.
“Nah. That ain’t me. I always was the pretty one.”
The raspy voice came from behind me. I jumped and followed it, and
Johnny was behind me. I looked back at the Johnny on stage, and the one
standing next to me.
“What the… twins?”
“Heheheh. Yeah.”
Suddenly, I understood why Johnny knew so much about what was
happening. He made a quick motion to Rave, who was now amplifying
Johnny’s voice, overpowering whatever his twin was saying.
“Been a long time, Tommy! This what you’ve been up to all these years?”
Tommy looked down at his brother, surprised, and spoke into the microphone.
“Evenin’ brother. It has been awhile, hasn’t it?” He looked over at me,
“Ah… is this the little Flame I’ve been hearing so much about? Jason,
you can have the honors.”
That’s when the rock Gene emerged from the crowd and began crossing the
field towards me. I ran to meet him halfway. I’ve taken care of him
before, and I can do it again. At least, that’s what I thought, before
the rain came pouring down on me. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t
ignite. The rain was too strong. I was helpless.
I looked past the rock Gene, at Tommy. He smiled at me with an evil grin.
“He’s Water!” I exclaimed at the realization.
While I was still distracted by the thought, the rock Gene wrapped it’s giant hand around me, and held me up, close to his face.
“I’m gonna kill you, just like I killed that bitch of yours, just like
I killed your parents, and you’re gonna wish you’d gone as quietly as
that whore!”
At his words, a rage seethed within me. I wasn’t in control anymore. A
fire burned in my eyes, and the rocks that held me began to glow red
hot, and melt. The Gene didn’t even realize that rain wasn’t hitting us
anymore. It was evaporating before it got close enough.
“You couldn’t kill me if I let you, freak.” I said in a cold voice.
That’s when he noticed that his rock shell was melting around him,
sealing him in his own tomb. I dropped to the ground, and walked right
past him. I could hear his muffled screams from inside the burning
stone. With each step, the ground beneath me burned and rotted. The
army ahead seemed to recoil at my every movement toward them. At least,
that’s what I though, until I saw the wave of students run past me,
attacking the army head on.
It was amazing. Half of the students were Genes, and they all finally
found the courage to fight for what they are. Bodies dropped left and
right. Some were the exiles. Some were students. The exile army had
been reduced to under thirty when Tommy and all who remained backed
away, and were enveloped by a large shadow, disappearing into thin air.
The government would later refer to that night as a massacre, “proving”
that Genes were a threat to national security. But no matter what they
say, the people who were there know that if it weren’t for the Genes
who still had hope, everybody would have been slaughtered. As for me,
I’ll go where I’m needed. Maybe one day, I’ll fade away, but until
then, I’ve gotta keep fighting. This isn’t a war that can be won on any
battlefield. It’s the battles we face every day that’s going to decide
the outcome, and as long as I’m able, I’m gonna be there to tilt the
scales.
| | |
| A little math for you guys
Seven months + no sex + a libido that eclipses the Death
Star = go fuck yourself, cockfags.
There. Now only 282 words left to go.
I got a call from my friend Vata earlier today. A job offer
down in Horton plaza. Basically, I just hand out flyers all day, and get paid
twenty dollars an hour. Sounds good, and I can use the money. Other than that,
just kind of a dumb day.
I had class at two o’ clock today. So, as usual, my ride
shows up AT two to pick me up. I get to the college about a half-hour late for
class, freaking the fuck out that I’m late, only to discover that my class was
cancelled for the day.
I was not pleased to learn that I wasted that much energy
being worried over something that, in the end, made no real difference anyway.
Then again, doesn’t it always seem to go that way?
So, I sit around for awhile, and wait for Jay’s class to get
out. It does. We both decide we haven’t eaten all day, and need to get some
food. We settle on Fortune Dragon. Now, let me tell you a little something
about Fortune Dragon. It’s a chinese buffet in the center of town, right down
the street from the high school. For only seven dollars, you can eat your fill
of what I have decided to be the greatest Chinese food to grace the planet
(except for the orange chicken. Avoid it at all costs.). I used to go every Monday
with my buddy James. I love the place. It was a nice treat to have gone there
today. I haven’t been in a very long time.
Got back to my place, fucked around for awhile, smoked.
Oh, while I’m thinking about it, never try to quit smoking
when you’re having a series of bad days, and sex-starved. It doesn’t work. All
it results in is the urge to kick puppies, and punch infants. At that point,
for the safety of puppies and small children everywhere, I would urge you to
resume your smoking habit.
Today has pretty much sucked. Things are gonna be a lot better
ten years from now, when I’ve taken Tom Cruise’s throne as greatest actor of
all time, and brought Oprah back to life, just to prove to him that I could
kill her better than he ever did.
| | |
| Project Beer MoneyI wanted to take today to tell you guys about the website I'm going to
start if I win this competition. The website is called "Project Beer
Money", and is what's going to make me internet-famous.
Here's how the website works. It's going to be owned and operated by me
and my good friend, Micah. The site is called "Project Beer Money"
quite simply, because that's exactly what it is. It will have a
donation bar, and we will ask the people of the great intarweb to
simply give us their money, with which, we will buy large quantities of
alcohol and get stupid drunk.
You're thinking to yourself, "this'll never work!". However, you're forgetting one very important thing:
This is the internet.
If you have the will, the internet is the way. In exchange for the
money that these people will donate, we will record our drunken
adventures in blog, video, and picture form, and post them on the
website. Because if there's one thing people love, it's drunken story
time!
The website will grow over time, drawing more and more attention. The
more attention, the more money. The more money, the more drinking, and
the more drunk we get. As a direct result, our stories become more
frequent, and more entertaining.
I have another idea for a website, too. More of a benefit for society, really.
See, I am a mental illness magnet when it comes to dating. I mean it, I have dated some CRAZY fucking women.
So, what I want to do is date as many girls as I possibly can, because
invariably, every girl I date is going to be bat-shit insane. So, what
I do at that point is profile the girl, and precisely what kind of
crazy she happens to be. I then post her profile on the site with the
information I gathered. Using this website, guys who are interested in
a girl can look through the site archives. If the girl does not appear
as a profile, she is most likely safe for dating.
I think I wanna call it www.crazybitches.com.
Just some ideas, but I think they have some merit, don't you?
I finished this post with twelve minutes to spare.
Boo. Ya.
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| My mom is insane, and I hate the japanese nowWhy do I hate the Japanese? Because among all the great things they did, somewhere along the line, they stopped and said "Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's make the single most annoying fucking dog on the face of the planet!" What's worse is that they actually went through with it. Confused? I'll start at the beginning. I'll be the first to tell you that I love animals.I've had cats, rabbits, even goats! Fucking goats! My first dog was Gizmo, a small chihuahua/terrier mutt. We got her about 12 years ago when she was a puppy, and we've had her ever since. She's still alive, although kicking noticeably less, and (amazingly) a little more retarded than she once was. My second dog was Terra, a decent-sized Australian Shepherd. We got her as a puppy 4 years ago, and I love her to death. Beautiful dog, and as sweet as anybody could hope for. She's my little girl. Things were good like this, but one thing you must understand is that my mother is bat-shit insane. These two dogs, the three cats, and the one that had just given birth to a litter of 5, apparantly weren't enough for my mother. So what did she do? She kept getting more. She picked up this nasty habit of randomly getting new dogs every month. There was one point in which our small home housed 26 dogs. And that wasn't counting the cats, rabbits, and goats. I, of course, did not approve of this. In fact, I was quite livid. The reasons for my disapproval were quite simple: A) She began spending all of her money on pet food, and pointless toys for these dogs. The direct result of which was that I went hungry. Quite often. I lost about 30 pounds in a single month of this. B) All the money she was spending on animals, we simply didn't have. Mind you, this is the woman that seemed to think it was a good idea to start cheating on the guy who was paying for our house, allowing us a better existence than the one we'd grown up knowing, wherein a nicer life was only some far-off fantasy. C) She never took care of these animals. She never cleaned after them, never bathed them, never even gave them proper sleeping arrangements. Basically, imagine an East LA mexican household (y'know, 6 generations all living under the roof of a single astrovan). That's about what it was like, and because of it, my house was filthy. Dog shit everywhere, constantly smelling of dog and piss, and my mom didn't seem to care that our home was too embarassing for me to bring friends over, or (for god's sake) women. She always got pissy and started crying when I reminded her that she worked for 15 years to be able to finally afford a house of her own, and as soon as we were here, to look what she had done to the place she dreamed of for so long. I think a may have been misleading earlier. This isn't all in the past. Things are still this way. Except now, instead of 26 dogs, we're down to 10. However, with the exception of Gizmo and Terra, they're all a small toy breed known as Japanese Chins. These dogs are pure evil. An insult to God himself, and proof that the Japanese hate us. They never shut up. They cannot be trained. They do not ever calm. They were bred for the sole purpose of causing pain and suffering in the hearts of all reasonable individuals. It's as if Japan said "Hey, America, we hate you. Just in case you might think we're joking around, here's the Japanese Chin." I swear, one day, they will pay for their sin. | | |
| Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'Alright, so I figure, you guys are reading my blogs, you might as well know a bit about me. Where to begin? Well, to start off, my name is Michael. You can all call me Chuckles, though. 
(That's me on the left, there) I'm a rockabilly boy. A greaser. One very important thing you should know is that I have an ego the size of the Death Star, and a libido that gives my ego a run for it's money. I am of the firm belief that if there is anything in the universe more important than my ego, it is to be tracked down, and shot on sight. I'm just that goddamn important. I attend college, in the (most likely futile) attempt to attain a degree in Game Art & Design. I think drawing shit for a living would be pretty cool. Maybe one of these days I'll post somethin' for you fuckers. The music I listen to varies, and my tastes cannot be lumped into a generic category. I love everything from punk to country. Most of the artists I listen to are widely obscure, and chances are, you've never heard of them, and probably don't care about them. This is largely due to to three simple facts: A) you suck, B) I hate you, and C) my cock is much bigger than yours, and can, in fact, walk right through that door. I like to party, love drinking, and have been known to partake in the occasional illicit substance. Purely recreationally, of course. My only dependancy is nicotine.Other than that, my favorite passtime is sex, seduction, and renaissance faires. These three are most often interwoven. I'm in a faire guild called The Wild. What do we do, you ask (and if you leave me a comment saying you didn't ask, I'm going to kick you in the stomach)? Well, we paint our bodies in black and white war paint, run amock, cause mahem, give the Vikings a run for the money, and scare the bejesus out of people. 
I have a strong dedication to the guild. The people in it are my closest friends, and may as well be my family. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Unless that particular anything had a time machine. That'd be pretty kickass. I like piercings, and LOVE tattoos. I only have an ear pierced, and that's all I really plan on getting. However, I have two tattoos, and plan on getting many more. Haha, I'll probably end up running out of skin within a few years. 
The first is the mark of The Wild, and a symbol of my dedication to the group. The second is in the Language of The Wild, Xebric. It says simply, "Regret Nothing, Remember Everything." As I said, I love tattoos. Especially girls with tattoos. I'll tell you right now, if you're a girl, and have sleeve tattoos, and any kind of piercings, I'm powerless in your presence. With that thought, I'm going to go get myself some food. Have a nice day, cockfags! | | |
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