| | Why do I hate the Japanese? Because among all the great things they did, somewhere along the line, they stopped and said "Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's make the single most annoying fucking dog on the face of the planet!" What's worse is that they actually went through with it. Confused? I'll start at the beginning. I'll be the first to tell you that I love animals.I've had cats, rabbits, even goats! Fucking goats! My first dog was Gizmo, a small chihuahua/terrier mutt. We got her about 12 years ago when she was a puppy, and we've had her ever since. She's still alive, although kicking noticeably less, and (amazingly) a little more retarded than she once was. My second dog was Terra, a decent-sized Australian Shepherd. We got her as a puppy 4 years ago, and I love her to death. Beautiful dog, and as sweet as anybody could hope for. She's my little girl. Things were good like this, but one thing you must understand is that my mother is bat-shit insane. These two dogs, the three cats, and the one that had just given birth to a litter of 5, apparantly weren't enough for my mother. So what did she do? She kept getting more. She picked up this nasty habit of randomly getting new dogs every month. There was one point in which our small home housed 26 dogs. And that wasn't counting the cats, rabbits, and goats. I, of course, did not approve of this. In fact, I was quite livid. The reasons for my disapproval were quite simple: A) She began spending all of her money on pet food, and pointless toys for these dogs. The direct result of which was that I went hungry. Quite often. I lost about 30 pounds in a single month of this. B) All the money she was spending on animals, we simply didn't have. Mind you, this is the woman that seemed to think it was a good idea to start cheating on the guy who was paying for our house, allowing us a better existence than the one we'd grown up knowing, wherein a nicer life was only some far-off fantasy. C) She never took care of these animals. She never cleaned after them, never bathed them, never even gave them proper sleeping arrangements. Basically, imagine an East LA mexican household (y'know, 6 generations all living under the roof of a single astrovan). That's about what it was like, and because of it, my house was filthy. Dog shit everywhere, constantly smelling of dog and piss, and my mom didn't seem to care that our home was too embarassing for me to bring friends over, or (for god's sake) women. She always got pissy and started crying when I reminded her that she worked for 15 years to be able to finally afford a house of her own, and as soon as we were here, to look what she had done to the place she dreamed of for so long. I think a may have been misleading earlier. This isn't all in the past. Things are still this way. Except now, instead of 26 dogs, we're down to 10. However, with the exception of Gizmo and Terra, they're all a small toy breed known as Japanese Chins. These dogs are pure evil. An insult to God himself, and proof that the Japanese hate us. They never shut up. They cannot be trained. They do not ever calm. They were bred for the sole purpose of causing pain and suffering in the hearts of all reasonable individuals. It's as if Japan said "Hey, America, we hate you. Just in case you might think we're joking around, here's the Japanese Chin." I swear, one day, they will pay for their sin. |
